I was looking over the stats for Mondo Ernesto, wondering why I was getting a lot of visits from Russia, the Netherlands, and the Ukraine lately, when my screen went black. Suddenly, flashing block letters scrolled by:
YOU BEEN HACKED, SUCKA!
Before I could reach over to turn my computer off, a cornball starfield appeared. Flaming letters in familiar handwriting spelled:
Hi Ernest, this is Victor Theremin. I've been having a wild time in the Ukraine, the Netherlands, and Russia. Wish you were here.
Then my computer restarted itself. A blinding light flashed outside my window. My eardrums popped. I did another restart, just in case.